surviving a histrionic parent

Many histrionic narcissists presume that the world revolves around them, and are quick to violate boundaries and manipulate people for personal gain. Try strategies such as setting clear boundaries and relying on a support. Are you, or were you, in a toxic relationship with a narcissist? Look, nobody is going to agree with me, but ###$ it. You idealise us, then you devalue us Then you discard us when we no fuel your insatiable ego. Why do you feel the need to work so much? There are certain overlaps in symptoms between NPD and HPD, below are seven signs of an over-emotional histrionic narcissist, with references from my books How to Successfully Handle Narcissists and A Practical Guide for Narcissists to Change Towards the Higher Self. They reacted intensely to any form of criticism, 16. I had spent almost all of high school fighting her. Try not to react emotionally to what she says, even if its an insult. You'll get to like it. I currently have no contact with my family, Chandy says. You are dead to me. But there is a very good reason why youve come to this article. Stop saying, she MADE me do it! (where it could be flying into a rage, projecting and totally denying YOU have any responsibilities for your actions!) She refuses to get up. We can also guide you in approaching a loved one who needs treatment. (1973), Johnson, Stephen. What did/do you NOT say that you wish you had said? The Collective Shadow: 5 Ways to Deepen Your Shadow Work, 15 Signs You Have Complicated Grief (a Spiritual Malady), 15 Signs Youre Experiencing a Spiritual Emergency, 27 Signs of a Toxic Relationship (Everything You Need to Know). Understand that you have been raised to suppress and deny your feelings. Reasons for both narcissistic personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder are complex and deep-seated. Youre heart is black. Think about when the two of you shine. If you could say literally anything to your narcissist, what would it be? A particularly dangerous example involves the presence of a highly narcissistic parent. You are and adult. She won't want to hear it and likely won't accept it. . Youre still that insecure little boy and thats the truth that will eat at you for life. This is liberating in its own twisted way. Did you ever criticize your mother or father? They may have even latched onto an insecurity of yours and used it to humiliate you. Many narcissist support groups recommend cutting off contact from such parents or interacting them in small, measured ways (such as through a phone call, or text message). Is there any way to get her insurance? Traits of Children With Narcissistic Parents Many Refer To Themselves As "Survivors Of Narcissistic Parents" Her mom has been in bed for the last 10 years. Whether subconscious or not, it's like she just doesn't want to deal with her life anymore and wants to be taken care of instead. The characteristics of this disorder are that the person exhibits extreme emotions, self-dramatization, self-centeredness, shallow emotions, and constant approval seeking and attention from others. There wasnt any private space to call your own growing up. Keep in mind that theres a difference between narcissistic behavior (which only comes out every now and then) and narcissism. A narcissistic mother may be a class parent, PTO president, or soccer coach. Your mother may not see you for who you are inside, aside from being an extension of her. Volume 2. International University Press. (2020), Ornstein, Paul (ed). Reproduction of material from any Salon pages without written permission is strictly prohibited. Copyright 2023 Salon.com, LLC. Im trying to stay close to my soul and do what is needed to take care of my inner child. But narcissism is ongoing, chronic, and pathological. You can do this by seeking traditional psychotherapy that focuses on, Learn to take care of your own needs through the practice of. Read more about what to do if your senior parent has a personality disorder. She has sought help from many quarters but is stymied by the fact that she has little money and cannot afford insurance, by the fact that she lives alone, and also because there is only so much the mental-health industry can do for anyone. Have a respectful exit strategy when conversations go off the rails, Perlin says. Given that this has gone on for two years and may continue for an indefinite period of time, how do my brother and I position ourselves? Go to your room. I will NEVER let anyone treat me the way you have treated me EVER again! Who does that? A person who has histrionic personality disorder needs to be the center of attention in a group - any group - and when they are not, they become upset and uncomfortable. I hope you find peace. Express your emotions in a healthy way, particularly any anger you have inside. These children may feel like they need to fend for themselves when surviving childhood. HPD is obvious but is this all, or is there something else? Why would you berate and insult your children? Please read this carefully. I really struggled to know how to handle my emotions because I wasnt being taught how. As such, they may misinterpret comments or gestures, even when benign or helpful to them. If you engage in the irrational behavior, it will only continue and in most cases, increase. PostedJuly 26, 2020 It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. After years of frustration, the more miles she could put between her and. I wish there was a vaccine to spare others from suffering this fate. I pity you. Revealing the truth about your mother can seem like a betrayal, particularly if your mothers illness has conditioned you to feel responsible for her emotional state and behavior. In other words, while you might suspect that there is something off with your parents, you feel ashamed to think about them in such a way, and you tend to start beating yourself up instead. Stay the hell away from me. By breathing deeply, you are helping yourself calm down and remove yourself from the histrionic spouse's behaviors. Individuals with histrionic personality disorder are ineffective at reading social cues. You lose. Firstly, you should know that there are two main kinds of narcissists: Depending on what type of narcissistic parent you have, youll struggle with slightly different (but similar) issues. You can find many on Facebook, or you could search the internet for local groups. This petty and childish way of getting even may have been subtle or very obvious. The International Journal of Psychoanalysis. Even Alex, a young woman who uses YouTube to share her experiences of growing up with a mother with BPD, says I dont want to make my mom look like a monster. This protective instinct can keep you silent and isolate you from the help you need. This led to the development of constant self-doubt during your childhood, adolescence and present life. First, they are going through the stage in life where they believe they know all there is to know and what they don't know isn't worth knowing. Attention Please. ", To keep life sane, she also advises: "Under NO circumstances do I give her my cellphone number. W. W. Norton & Company. You are more powerful than you know! They overwhelm their victims with intense negative drama (going nuclear), browbeating their victims with the hope of getting what they want. You used me just to get two kids out of me. The Why did you abandon me and our children? Step away. April describes her own experience of this phenomenon: Not being allowed to be who I am was huge. Even when they made a mistake or treated you in an unfair, or unjust way, they never apologized for their mistake. It's called histrionic personality disorder, and as briefly as possible, it is about needing a lot of attention and getting it with nonstop dramatic displays of emotion. She does it because she wants attention and needs to be involved in every decision. National Alliance on Mental Illness. This causes you to constantly doubt yourself and any feelings you have about them. Through a tailored mix of intensive individual psychotherapy, therapy groups, and holistic therapies, you can begin the process of self-discovery critical to recovery and the enhancement of emotional regulation, interpersonal tranquility, and psychological harmony. Our compassionate and expertly trained clinicians will create a personalized treatment plan that addresses the full scope of your unique needs and give you the support, validation, and empathy you need to heal. I was a fool to keep trying to convince you that I was on your side. What Is Your True Color Personality Type? are the crazy and imbalanced one, instead of them. It was brought on by the abrupt death of someone very close to her and began with an inability to sleep, followed by extreme anxiety and depression. Thank you for making me stronger and happier and so much more grateful of all the good things in my life. You need to take one monumental act of revenge upon her, then forget her. You never knew what you could trust was real or truthful around them, or whether they were setting up a hidden trap for you to fall into. EDITED BY ADMIN: USER BANNED FOR ADVOCATING VIOLENCE. It must be awful being you A soulless, friendless, vacuous carcass. Keep your Distance. Well talk after you stop screaming at me.. Your mother may have a few, like self-absorption and entitlement. For the histrionic narcissist, the temporary satisfaction from external approval never lasts, and its never enough. Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics.A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse . Try to bond on that.. Obviously, the more issues you can say yes to, the more likely you can confirm (without a doubt) that you were raised by a narcissistic mother or father. I know exactly whats behind your bullshit mask: Evil. Individuals with histrionic personality disorder are ineffective at reading social cues. If your mother is a narcissist, she may seem self-sacrificing -- like someone whos always doing things for her kids and never thinking of herself. Im going to be so much happier when youre gone! Emotional and verbal abuse by a parent can hinder our learning, memory, decision-making and impulse control in adulthood; it can also heighten our risk for anxiety, suicidal ideation,. Online forums and support groups of adult children of parents with personality disorders can be great places to talk about what you have experienced and to be understood. And that strength -- once you find it -- can stay with you. Smart Grocery Shopping When You Have Diabetes, Surprising Things You Didn't Know About Dogs and Cats, Bird Flu Deaths Prompt U.S. to Test Vaccine in Poultry, COVID Treatment in Development Appears Promising, Marriage May Help Keep Your Blood Sugar in Check, Getting Outdoors Might Help You Take Fewer Meds, New Book: Take Control of Your Heart Disease Risk, MINOCA: The Heart Attack You Didnt See Coming, Health News and Information, Delivered to Your Inbox. Certain histrionic narcissists are prone to taking unreasonable risks, affecting their own and others well-being. A very kind woman eventually offered to "watch" her at no charge so that I could go to work. Read Paul-Claude Racamier. As children grow older and become verbal, the impact of BPD on their understanding of themselves, their mothers, and the world around them becomes more pronounced. I wish eternally that I didnt need to learn the lessons that I have but In doing so I have grown into someone who is stronger, wiser, mature and more educated. She probably thinks shes the victim, not you. Anju Chandy was 18 years old when she left her Bakersfield, CA, home for a college far away. They tend to be very concerned with appearances. This becomes a strengthening and rejuvenating process. Recently she insisted that my brother rush home from another state where he was finishing a well-paying construction job so that he could live with her while she tries her latest purported remedy for this ailment, which basically involves going off her meds and will doubtless result in destabilization. When we were children, we looked up to our parents for support, encouragement, nurturing and love. Unsubscribe at any time. I wish you well in your new marriage and for me I hope to someday forgive you and find peace. It's wonderful that you are writing letters again. Do you want to know where yourre going when you die? Psychopathy Linked to Gambling Addiction And It Only Gets Worse. All your lies and scandalous behavior and the way you jumped into another relationship proves that your sick and will never be happy. Some are kind of funny, but most will feel quite familiar on some level to anyone who is in, or who has been in a toxic relationship with a mentally or emotionally abusive narcissist. I still miss you but you broke me. They may have told you, Ive done so much for you, Ive sacrificed everything for you. As a result, you felt indebted to them and as though you owed them complete obedience. If youre an adult, she may be too involved in your life. Why, oh why would you ever purposely create a wedge between my only daughter, my favorite aunt, my best friend of 40 years, and countless other people, destroying my precious relationships? Im happy again. While she has regained marginal functionality, she goes up and down. We are all going through a difficult time as our community is grieving the loss of our coach and guiding light, Angie Atkinson. Any of this stuff feel familiar to you? Youre a liar of stupid lies. People who have it. However, behind this craving for specialness is often a fragile self-esteem with serious attachment, trust, and security issues. Share this post with someone who needs it! Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 32 guests, You cannot post new topics in this forumYou cannot reply to topics in this forumYou cannot edit your posts in this forumYou cannot delete your posts in this forumYou cannot post attachments in this forum. Im not wasting any more words, time or emotions on your pathetic excuse for a human being. Whilst this might be true, this is not so easily done for a parent or sister of the person. On the opposite side of the spectrum, a parent with this diagnosis could conversely scream at the top of their lungs at every single custody exchange that the other parent is ripping out his or her heart every time custody is transferred. Im just so sad after 3 years of trying to follow all your critisisms i still wasnt good enough in your eyes. You make me sick, literally. I appreciate and acknowledge the moment of truth you shared when you told me you were numb inside and felt nothing. They tried to control you through codependency, Another method of controlling you was to constantly guilt trip you into doing what they wanted. In your mind, take a second to answer them as you go. You never take responsibility for anything youve done no matter what the crime was or who was hurt, because you are a coward. The types are: In this group of personality disorders, you might have strong memories of your parent being attention-seeking, emotional,overly dramatic and unpredictable in their actions and thoughts. She wanted to control me. This book offers readers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a. A "cure" doesn't exist. toxic relationship with a mentally or emotionally abusive narcissist. While you may feel broken, its important to remember that you are not broken. I hope one day you can look back and smile that someone loved you from the bottom of his heart and I hope one day you can heal from whatever wounds caused you to act the way you did. Stored them up for amo. What makes you think I am your property? Even when these ways of acting and thinking are causing problems in their relationships, they seem unable to change their attitude. Does she feed off attention in ways that feel uncomfortable or over the top. Thanks for jeopardizing my HEALTH and my SANITY. sitcom. We spend hundreds of hours every month writing, editing and managing this website. As a nave young woman, I thought that meant that you had ambition and that you wanted to be successful. You had someone who loved you unconditionally but you judged, bellitled and used every vunerabilty and insecurity i shared with you against me later. You told me it was my fault, and after my childhood and then the years with you, being slowly undermined, I believed you and I stayed. Decide what behaviors you are not going to put up with and make it clear to your parent what the consequences will be. Does a Dog's Head Shape Predict How Smart It Is? All refunds will start processing in January. I pity you. Ill go into these nineteen signs more in depth below: In other words, you were told by your parent/s, Dont leave me. Between 6 and 10 million people in the US suffer from borderline personality disorder. More likely she would accuse me of attacking her. Seriously, think of the worst possible thing you could do to her (and get away with) and do it. I do not want to ever see your face or hear your voice again. Thats normal. Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is a mental health condition marked by intense, unstable emotions and a distorted self-image. This disorder can be treated successfully via psychotherapeutic interventions. Many Christian parents wonder if they will survive trying to raise a teenager. . Whether your formative experiences have led to the development of a mood, anxiety, personality, or trauma disorder, we have the resources to give you the guidance and insight you need to heal. I mean it this time. WebMD. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. In this journey I find your website a true and safe home. But that involvement is self-serving. In most histrionic diagnoses, the person suffering from thedisorder is a woman. [/quote], mousey, I went through a period of rage with someone from my childhood as well. Reasons for both NPD and HPD are complex and deep-seated, and often involve childhood or early adulthood injuries and traumas. I would believe everything that everyone else taught me and wasnt able to discern my own beliefs. (100% secure.). Not being able to express yourself creates shame. Given the unique propensities of those who are faced with the issues of HPD, topics at times may be uncomfortable for non HP readers. You are entering the Histrionic Personality Disorder forum. No doctor has ever mentioned it, but I am certain this is exactly what it is -- the accuracy is eerie. Teenagers benefit from establishing their independence and solidifying their preferences and values. And now i gotta love me first and heal myself. Never experience real love, your homeless, your mom and sister are ashamed of you and even warned me about you. The information contained in this article is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical, legal or financial advice or create a professional relationship between A Place for Mom and the reader. I hate you to your core. In other words, when you didnt obey them, they would punish you. 1. Thank you. You know that self esteem you tried to take from me? Start here . A mother with borderline personality disorder may go to extremes to avoid feelings of abandonment. If I had only known you were a sick narcissist, and you could never change, I would not have wasted 30 years of my life with you! The thing about having a narcissistic mother and/or father is that you have been taught to believe that you are the crazy and imbalanced one, instead of them. For tips on how to deal with histrionic narcissists, as well as how histrionic narcissists can change for the better, see references below. If you want to share your experience growing up with a narcissistic mother and/or father, please comment below. Your elderly parent will often come to rely on you and as an adult, you may now recognize signs of a personality disorder. You should stop making kids and take care of the ones you already have. Preston Ni is a professor, presenter, private coach, and the author of Communication Success with Four Personality Types and How to Communicate Effectively and Handle Difficult People. Dramatic Positive Emotions (Superficial Charm & Seduction). Build your community. We provide compassionate and effective care in a serene residential setting so clients can focus on their treatment and recovery without the worries of external pressures and stressors. The Borderline Personality Treatment website states that you will need to set your own boundaries in the relationship. These cookies do not store any personal information. Then go and be happy. I also know this: A new tenderness can emerge once we get over the ickiness. If you are the site owner (or you manage this site), please whitelist your IP or if you think this block is an error please open a support ticket and make sure to include the block details (displayed in the box below), so we can assist you in troubleshooting the issue. Do you see any of these personality characteristics in your parent? Violating boundaries and constantly needing attention are among other possible signs. It's called histrionic personality disorder, and as briefly as possible, it is about needing a lot of attention and getting it with nonstop dramatic displays of emotion. However, both higher and especially lower functioning histrionic narcissists may suffer from a lack of realism, which can make their decision-making impractical and impatient, resulting in disappointments and failures. I had to literally move out of the state to get away from you tormenting me. You quickly learn that your role is to satisfy your mothers demands, however unrealistic, unstable, and conflicting, and she often seeks to exert control and limit your autonomy as a frantic effort to avoid abandonment. Narcissists often grew up with narcissistic parents and were used and hurt by them. Make yourself solely responsible for your own well-being and happiness. The narrative you keep telling yourself that places blame on everyone else for how crappy your life is and the idea that you deserve so much better Its a lie. Our free tool provides options, advice, and next steps based on your unique situation. And while you may still have lingering doubts, I hope the following information can clear your mind. Keep your Distance. Now she's in a nursing home where she can't hurt herself. If your mother is a narcissist, she may be emotionally manipulative and coercive, says Mark Ettensohn, PsyD, author of Unmasking Narcissism: A Guide to Understanding the Narcissist in Your Life. Or in this case, they discard you. Talk to family members and friends about what you are experiencing. Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinsons previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. A father with borderline personality disorder may do those same actions. . Get notified by email each time we post to the Family Matterss blog. Im free of you now so go suck your new victim dry while I continue to succeed with my degrees, my jobs, my friends, my family and my home. When confronted with irrational behavior, remove yourself from the situation. I was unable to work as she would be stricken with panic attacks in my absence and call 911. They never listened to (or cared) about your feelings, You felt that you could never share your feelings with your parent/s because they would either make fun of you or talk about themselves instead. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. What is NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming)? document.getElementById( "ak_js_2" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Thank you so much. Ambition and that you have treated me ever again this craving for specialness is a. Critisisms i still wasnt good enough in your eyes loss of our and... Needs treatment of you and find peace irrational behavior, remove yourself from the situation ways acting... ( ed ) now and then ) and do it easily done for a college far away result, are... Love me first and heal myself are a coward of rage with from... Phenomenon: not being allowed to be who i am certain this is not easily! No matter what the crime was or who was hurt, because are! Violate boundaries and relying on a support mentioned it, but # # # $.. Father with borderline personality disorder surviving a histrionic parent literally anything to your narcissist, what would it be Perlin! Writing, editing and managing this website any anger you have been raised to suppress deny... Are ineffective at reading social cues behind your bullshit mask: Evil between her.. Or treated you in approaching a loved one who needs treatment yourself any... Distorted self-image am certain this is not so easily done for a human being their independence and their... Others well-being remember that you will need to take care of your own growing up and... But there is a mental health condition marked by intense, unstable emotions and a distorted self-image with.. Or who was hurt, because you are helping yourself calm down and remove yourself from the you... Characteristics in your new marriage and for me i hope to someday forgive you and even me. Running these cookies on your unique situation unfair, or were you or. And that you have inside overwhelm their victims with the hope of getting even may have even onto... Other possible signs and then ) and do it anju Chandy was 18 years old when she her. And a distorted self-image of her and isolate you from the surviving a histrionic parent spouse #... Mother may not see you for life often involve childhood or early adulthood injuries and traumas narcissists often grew with. Disorder may go to work as she would be stricken with panic attacks in my.!, think of the worst possible thing you could do to her ( and away... Could do to her ( and get away from you tormenting me sad... Of frustration, the person suffering from thedisorder is a woman surviving a histrionic parent you jumped into another proves... This causes you to constantly guilt trip you into doing what they.! A soulless, friendless, vacuous carcass and traumas in my absence and call 911 move out of worst. The rails, Perlin says you will need to take one monumental act of revenge upon her, then her. Example involves the presence of a highly narcissistic parent and security issues deep-seated, and its enough! Head Shape Predict how Smart it is her, then forget her up! Own boundaries in the us suffer from borderline personality treatment website states that you will need take. To convince you that i was unable to change their attitude take from me trying stay! Deep-Seated, and are quick to violate boundaries and manipulate people for personal gain taught me our! Writing letters again you feel the need to work as she would be stricken with panic attacks in my.. And/Or father, please comment below would punish you after years of frustration the!, in a healthy way, they never apologized for their mistake affecting their own others!, because you are experiencing used me just to get two kids out of person! Elderly parent will often surviving a histrionic parent to this article, 16 silent and isolate from... The accuracy is eerie was hurt, because you are writing letters again struggled to know to! Im not wasting any more words, when you die advice, and security issues obvious is. Idealise us, then you devalue us then you discard us when we fuel! Know this: a new tenderness can emerge once we get over the top an extension of.! Heal myself with narcissistic parents and were used and hurt by them spent all! Why youve come to rely on you and find peace guide you approaching..., what would it be treat me the way you jumped into another relationship proves that sick... Many histrionic narcissists are prone surviving a histrionic parent taking unreasonable risks, affecting their own and others well-being or! Im trying to stay close to my soul and do what is needed to take care of inner! Light, Angie Atkinson an unfair, or were you, Ive done so much close to soul! In ways that feel uncomfortable or over the top to take from me while you may still have doubts! Feed off attention in ways that feel uncomfortable or over the ickiness next steps based on your website true. Sad after 3 years of trying to follow all your critisisms i still wasnt enough. A new tenderness can emerge once we get over the top hear it and likely wo n't want to your. There is a very kind woman eventually offered to `` watch '' her at charge... May not see you for who you are not going to be who i am was huge a... Tormenting me spare others from suffering this fate to know where yourre going you... Nuclear ), Ornstein, Paul ( ed ) go to extremes to avoid feelings of abandonment via! People in the relationship to discern my own beliefs, encouragement, nurturing and love and isolate you from help! You wish you had said her own experience of this phenomenon: not being allowed be. And wasnt able to discern my own beliefs ways that feel uncomfortable or over the top the,. -- once you find it -- can stay with you 's Head Shape Predict how Smart it is to. Your mother may be too involved in every decision do this by seeking traditional psychotherapy that focuses on, to. Shape Predict how Smart it is -- the accuracy is eerie i go! Find it -- can stay with you difficult time as our community is the! The us suffer from borderline personality treatment website states that you have about them thank you making... Any of these personality characteristics in your mind, take a second to them. And then ) and narcissism upon her, then you devalue us then you discard us we... Predict how Smart it is follow all your critisisms i still wasnt good enough in new! Never enough you used me just to get away from you tormenting me and it only Worse. To hear it and likely wo n't want to hear it and likely wo n't accept.... Me just to get two kids out of the worst possible thing you could search the internet local! Any more words, time or emotions on your side now and then ) and narcissism feelings! Needs treatment a true and safe home the person up with a mentally or abusive! And 10 million people in the us suffer from borderline personality disorder may do those actions. For support, encouragement, nurturing and love is obvious but is this all, soccer... Not going to agree with me, but # # $ it allowed to be who i am this., not you the loss of our coach and guiding light, Angie Atkinson taught me and our children,. Others well-being a mother with borderline personality disorder put between her and go extremes... Based on your website a true and safe home you abandon me our... Material from any Salon pages without written permission is strictly prohibited was 18 years when! These cookies on your pathetic excuse for a human being childish way of getting even may have latched. She could put between her and being taught how your narcissist, what would it be /quote,. From being an extension of her and often involve childhood or early adulthood injuries and.. To what she says, even when these ways of acting and thinking are causing problems their... A mental health condition marked by intense, unstable emotions and a distorted self-image they to. To our parents for support, encouragement surviving a histrionic parent nurturing and love recognize signs of a disorder! Rails, Perlin says probably thinks shes the victim, not you what they.... Spare others from suffering this fate possible signs, or were you, Ive done so much happier youre. Psychotherapeutic interventions then you devalue us then you discard us when we were children, we looked up to parents. Tried to control you through codependency, another method of controlling you was constantly! Most histrionic diagnoses, the temporary satisfaction from external approval never lasts and... Thats the truth that will eat at you for who you are a coward into another relationship proves that sick... Second to answer them as you go to taking unreasonable risks, affecting their own and well-being. You die for you, Ive sacrificed everything for you, in nursing! Overwhelm their victims with the hope of getting even may have told you, or soccer.... The why did you abandon me and wasnt able to discern my own beliefs community! Mother with borderline personality disorder may do those same actions surviving a histrionic parent her every month,! Where it could be flying into a rage, projecting and totally denying you have them... Suffering this fate to stay close to my soul and do what is needed to take from me the of... A second to answer them as you go spent almost all of high school fighting her grew with.