beetlejuice musical monologue lydia

OKAY? I wish I was still alive, I WAS DRIVING LAMBORGHINIS SIPPING SUPER-DRY MARTINIS, AN UNHAPPY BEAUTY QUEEN WHO DREAMED TO BE MISS ARGENTINA, I WOULD'VE STUCK IT OUT KNOWING WHAT LIFE'S ABOUT, I WOULD HAVE LOOKED WITHIN AND LET LOVE IN SOMEHOW, SEE A SHRINK CALL A PRIEST ASK THE RECENTLY DECEASED, DEATH IS FINAL AND YOU CANNOT PRESS REWIND, SKYDIVER: DON'T JUMP WHEN THE LIGHT IS RED, TOASTER LADY: TOASTERS SHOULD BE USED FOR BREAD, FOOTBALL PLAYER: NIETZSCHE WAS RIGHT, Y'KNOW, TO LIVE IS TO SUFFER, BRO, I WOULD'VE LAUGHED AND DANCED AND LANCED EVERY SACRED COW, 'CAUSE LIFE IS SHORT BUT DEATH IS SUPER LONG, MISS ARGENTINA: IF I KNEW THEN (IF I KNEW), ALL: I WOULD'VE CROSSED EVERY LINE AND DRANK ALL THE WINE, I WOULD RIDE THE HIGHS AND CHERISH THE LOWS, GOING, IT'S A QUICK TRICK 'ROUND THE RODEO, MISS ARGENTINA: SO BEFORE THEY LOWER THE CURTAIN, BE CERTAIN TO ENJOY THE SHOW, ENSEMBLE: LIFE IS SHORT BUT DEATH IS LONG HERE, ONE MINUTE THEN IT'S GONE. YAAAH. 1."I am alone. LYDIA: Hes the loneliest guy I know. BARBARA: Cant you just scare the people for us? LYDIA: Just wanna make sure I know who I'm working with. You dont like your dad, and I dont like my mom! I got all the way to Howards store, and then Howard tells me their out of stock. CHARLES: I already did change. We did kill someone though. BEETLEJUICE: Okay! BEETLEJUICE: Oh, I don't live here, I'm dead! Im a part of this too! I mean, no I have an idea, how about instead of impaling yourself on that birdbath, you uh, I dont know, say my name three times. Im not comfortable withfeelingsyou know that. BARBARA: We are not aluminum siding people! Don't apologize! This is so wrong, your my employee, but also my lover! BEETLEJUICE: Back off, Mom! Hes here! AH AH AH! DELIA: Why say doubt, when you can stop at do. This was an excuse to make the boys interact and realize they all are wife simps. howd you get her to marry you? In the world of the dead? Bu BEETLEJUICE: (snaps fingers and the Sandworm attacks) Thats why not! Oh my god! All ghosts shall proceed directly to the Netherworld. No. Source: . THE MAITLANDS: BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE? CHARLES: What? LYDIA: What's goin' on, Delia? Beetlejuice the Musical - Prologue: Invisible Lyrics "Prologue: Invisible" is a song performed by Sophia Anne Caruso (Lydia) from the musical Beetlejuice. ANY GHOST CAN DO THAT IN LESS THAN ONE LESSON. LYDIA: Im not going back! Scouts honor, but that books got a lot of dangerous stuff in it. **Beetlejuice: The Musical has ended its Broadway run, but is currently touring nationally. Lydia, I know you wont let me down. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." And I never got the chance to use them while I was alive. CHARLES: Lydia, in twenty-four hours, Maxie Dean will be here to have dinner with our family. ADAM: Well, why do we have to make them say it? AND YOU'LL BE LIKE, "WHAT?" OH! AHHH! Im going to find mom! LYDIA: Dad came back for me? Now, we have two days to transform this old house into the flagship model home of my new gated community. Im sorry its kind of a mess. THREE TIMES IN A ROW, IT MUST BE SPOKEN UNBROKEN. LYDIA YOU GIVE ME THAT! BEETLEJUICE: Pepperoni, mushrooms and snakes! And you won't believe how far I'll go. Mom! It sayswe should draw a door. LYDIA: The ghosts who live here want you gone! Now heres the problem. Mom? If you're a fan of Beetlejuice the Musical on Broadway, then you probably know Elizabeth Teeter. Do you mind if we all share this house! MAXIE DEAN: Oh, dont mind her. And their eyes! having plummeted off the Winter River Bridge. And there is a way. BARBARA: You were right. Where is that damned exorcist? My names not Otho! Monologues are presented on StageAgent for educational purposes only. MAXIE DEAN: I was never gonna invest in your stupid "gated community." Afraid Id marry her? BEETLEJUICE: Wow! Before Juno sees you. Lydia. Say Chuck, didnt you used to have a daughter? Got any references? LYDIA: I cant change anything! You are dead. ADAM: You don't like this stuff? February 27, 2020 7:07pm. CHARLES: Youre right. I hid it in case that dancing football player caught me. 2."Well, I've read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It's our house now, kid! DELIA: Lydia, I know that I am paid to care about you, but Id like us to be real friends! Lydia doesnt have my resilience. Oh I don't see anything -- Aah! Now, go on girl, get out of here, you know youre free, go on, get out of here. CHARLES: You think this is what I want? CHARLES: I am very good at sex. Based on the 1988 film starring Michael Keaton, the musical tells the story of Lydia Deetz, an offbeat teenager whose life changes when her family moves into a home inhabited by a recently . (exits), BEETLEJUICE: YOU'RE INVISIBLE WHEN YOU'RE ME, I VANISHED LIKE A CLOUD OF DIRTY HIPSTER VAPE, LYDIA: By the time you read this I, Lydia Deetz, will be gone there's nothing for me here I'm alone, forsaken, invisible. Well its a lot bigger on the inside! CHARLES: Do you hear that, Delia? Let me point you to the right page. Shes definitely done some stuff, I can tell. And I like the attic! Im going to the Netherworld! (more chase.) BEETLEJUICE See, this is what life is. Call 9-1-1! You have sealed my fate with your betrayal. LYDIA: Dead Mom? BEETLJUICE: You know overnight delivery cost extra. OTHO: Delia? Im bringing my mom back! . C'MON, DROP YOUR PANTIES I'M TRYING TO FILL YA, WITH WISDOM AND SKILL AND THE INSTINCT TO KILL. Fuck Brigadoon. AND ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SAY MY NAME THREE TIMES. And we should tell her that! (BEETLEJUICE does the same to ADAM. Its either me or the booze. And shed be like Well, then I choosethe booze. The point is, we just got rid of your dad, and we were having SO much fun together! NEVER MIND, HE'LL BE YOUR G-U-I-D-E TO THE OTHER SIDE, I'M THE B-TO-THE-DOUBLE-E-T-L-E TO THE J-U-I-C-E, BEETLEJUICE: I understand it's a lot to process, but, THE GOOD NEWS IS YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE DIED IN YOUR OWN HOUSE, THAT MEANS THE TWO OF YOU SHOULD STICK AROUND, A LITTLE ON THE POTTERY BARN AND DRY WHITE WINE SIDE, AS FOR ME, I'VE BEEN SCARING FOR MILLENNIA, I'M THE BIO-EXORCIST GIVING HOUSES ENEMAS, BEETLEJUICE AND ENSEMBLE: PUSH OUT ALL THE BREATHERS, BEETLEJUICE: AND I DO IT FOR THE LOVE OF IT, 'CAUSE THIS GUY HAPPENED TO BE PASSING BY, TO GIVE YOU CONTROL OF YOUR SOUL FOR THE WHOLE "BEING DEAD" THING (AH AH AH AH AH AH AH! BEETLEJUICE: Whered I lose you? to read our character analysis for Lydia and unlock other amazing theatre resources! JUNO: You are the embarrassment. MAXINE: See? CHARLES: Wouldnt even know where to start. BARBARA: Yeah! *attempts to jump again. That never happens. Demon's Dance. Prologue: Invisible - Lydia 2. Its finally time for you two to go to the Netherworld! Thats the problem! BARBARA: Handbook For The Recently Deceased? Alright. Dad theres ghosts! Again. The musical held its final performance on March 11, 2020, after Broadway and New York City's biggest . Girl, just say it three times in a row. ADAM: Hang on. BEETLEJUICE: WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE 'EM GO CRAZY, 'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT SOME EVIL DEEP DOWN INSIDE YOU, YOU'VE GOTTA WORK GOTTA HAUNT TILL IT HURTS THROUGH THE NIGHT, AND GIVE THOSE GUYS THE FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES. LYDIA: I cant open it. Unless of course, its a murder suicide, which makes for a very awkward eternity. People! As your guru Otho always said, this is taking too long! BARBARA: Well, whatd you expect? DELIA: Knock Knock! THE MAITLANDS: (creepily.) Of course I might have to get a little mean. I'm totally enchanted. BARBARA: Thats so strange, Its not hot. MISS ARGENTINA: THIS IS THE NETHERWORLD! I'm sure Dad will ruin it. . Netherworld. AGHHHHHH! BEETLEJUICES: ALL WE WANNA DO IS HEAR THAT SOUND. Go back to New York! GOOD OLD FASHIONED WEDDING WITH SOME DANCING AND UN-DEADING. Tagged: Rhymes, Juice, Loose. But you can. Barbara, the pig! You asked me, I'm answering. So goodbye . Drink it, or throw it out! Except her. Oo! DELIA: Charles, maybe we should just tell her about us. Are you alright? It says, Im warm, Im friendly, and I think about death only a normal amount! Well that wouldve been good to know. The show opened in April 2019 at the Winter Garden Theatre but, just under a year later, the pandemic shuttered it prematurely. All ghosts shall proceed directly to the Netherworld. DELIA: I dont see race. Every bit of it. Im the perfect person to help you battle your ghost. WE'RE MORE THAN DETRITUS WE'RE FINALLY ALIVE! CHARLES: That demon with the stupid hair, hell be waiting for us. I FOUND MY FREQUENCY CRYSTALS SPEAK TO ME, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THERE ARE SPIRITUAL GUIDES ABOVE LOOK UP AND SEE 'EM, JUST LISTEN TO THE MELODY THE UNIVERSE SINGS, 'CAUSE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THE UNIVERSE IS JUST THE CONTENTS OF TIME, MATTER AND SPACE, LYDIA: NINETY-ONE BILLION LIGHT-YEARS ACROSS AND THE EARTH'S A SMALL PLACE, THE PACIFIC ISLANDS ARE SINKING BUT NEGATIVE THINKING IS HARDLY THE CAUSE, YOU THINK LIFE IS ALL UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS 'CAUSE YOU'RE BORED, LYDIA: AND POSITIVITY IS A LUXURY THAT FEW CAN AFFORD, DELIA: NO NO NO! Goes to the door. Did I hear the dinner bell? Eddie Perfect, Lydia is a dark, yet exceedingly smart young woman. Get the shrimp! LYDIA: Well, Im not going with them! You go to the Netherworld, you dont come back. Barbara, this is our stuff BARBARA: A SHRINE TO THE FEELINGS WE'VE BEEN REPRESSING, BARBARA: UNFINISHED PROJECTS MEANINGLESS OBJECTS. Leave this house! ADAM: You know, hate is a very strong word. I changed a lot. And they eat ghosts. In her eyes, her ability to "gut" the house is connected to her ability to express, from which Charles is blocking her. Oh god, Im so worried now. I am angry! And I fear for my safety around you. Because dead or alive, you dont got somebody who really gets you, then youre going to feel lonely and worthless and youll never reach your goal weight because you eat when youre sad this guy knows what Im talking about. Im not buying it, time to die! DELIA: I dont think thats how knock knock jokes work. Delilah BEETLEJUICE: We didnt hang out much, Charles! We only provide suggested audition monologues or songs for an individual character if our system finds content that matches a character's traits. And choosing the people you wanna share it with! LYDIA: You guys want your house back, right? IS MORE THAN JUST SPACE WITH NO END LA-LA-LA-LA-LA! LYDIA: I have been alone since my mom died! Beetlejuice tickets will be available to purchase soon. This is already the BEST exorcism Ive ever been to! I dont wanna die! (a beat.) Shes impossible. She's now taking to TikTok to spread [] Who knows what hes done to Lydia! If I get Maxie Dean in my corner, the investments will pour in. [speaks in Lydia's voice] Beetlejuice: I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. Like these weirdos. (a beat.) BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah. I cant see! We're gonna be rich! JUNO: STOP! its just like Wah, Wah, Wah Wah Wah Wah. All these feelings. Draw a door, go home! ADAM: Oh god! MAXIE DEAN: Lydia! LYDIA: It could be both. I cancelled the exorcist, and Ive hired someone better. That was an old Scandinavian folk song. GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD. Cuz, shed love this! Today, we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz. ADAM: What is that? However, there was no reasoning with the spirit, but Adam and Barbara had a slight advantage in the fact that they weren't stuck in Adam's miniature town. Hey guys? ITS ALMOST A GIVEN THAT I WILL ALL SOON BE ALIVE. Well actually it was just this really hot apartment in Queens, where the doors locked from the outside. Uh, hey! ADAM: So, Lydia since you can see us, let me get right to the point. With a lovely family inside. I mean you saw these schmucks up here. MISS ARGENTINA: But thats impossible, you youre a living girl. OTHO: Let me say it (dramatically) DEATH! All Ive gotta do is get a living person to say my name three times. Its like a green card thing! Thank you for being here. BUT BEETLEJUICE, IT'S NOT AS IF I'VE LOST MY MIND. And breathers worry so much about their stupid little lives, most of them never notice anything strange or unusual unless you make them. All monologues are property and copyright of their owners. BARBARA: You cant make every wall an accent wall! I call it The Soulbox. ADAM: Lydia, we're so sorry! BEETLEJUICE: NO! BARBARA: Adam, thats not why she doesnt like it here. LYDIA: No, it was adorable. The man next to me is the one I want. Video Examples. Im sorry everybody. LYDIA: WAY BACK WHEN I WAS JUST TEN SIMPLE AND SWEET, EVERYWHERE, FELLAS WOULD STARE OUT ON THE STREET, LYDIA: NOW ONE OF 'EM LOVES ME, WANTS TO BE MINE, LYDIA: MY CREEPY OLD GUY, MY CREEPY OLD GUY, BARBARA/DELIA: GIRLS MAY SEEM DISGUSTED, BUT WE'RE ACTUALLY JUST SHY, BEETLEJUICE: I AM OLDER, BUT I'M GLAD I WAITED, ALL: CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY. In a haunted house, all alone! BARBARA: THEN THERE'S THE WHOLE DARN ECONOMY, ADAM AND BARBARA: READY TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP. I wish I was dead! And also, I dont model anymore. LYDIA: I dont have a lot of friends so, if I have to live in this stupid house, at least I know Ill have you guys in the attic. L: I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. Im gonna teach you guys how to be ghosts! About the future. BEETLEJUICE: Oh, Babs, I would LOVE that. ADAM: Oh yeah? 'Otho Fenlock's Locked Door Ghosts' Probably committed suicide up there. Im a dead guy, stuck in the world of the living with nothing, and no one to share it with. Except, this one year we tried to do a classic horror theme. LYDIA: Dad, how long do we have to stay here? ADAM Hey old girl! DELIA: Oh! Oh my god! (snaps photo.) Shes always like Get a job! or Why is your hair purple? or I shouldve left, like your father. The point is, Maybe we can help each other out, DON'T YOU WANT A PAL? DELIA: Charles! Its okay at Christmas, but the rest of the year, you gotta put it away! Which reminds me, I got you a new dress for your fathers business dinner! From an outfit standpoint, her clothes launched the mood boards of many goth girls. MAXINE: And hell do it! Do not be afraid. What does that mean? Im not sure youre equipped. All rights go to Tim Burton and creator. (an idea.) I might have to get a little nasty. So, lydia since you can see us, let me say it three TIMES BEETLEJUICE the on! It here much fun together lydia Deetz and I dont think thats how knock knock work... 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Theatre but, just say it hot apartment in Queens, where the doors locked from the.. Ever beetlejuice musical monologue lydia to is currently touring nationally I was never gon na teach you guys want your back.
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