Still craving more? Q. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. What do women and toilet paper have in common? WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. more like dad revelations. Poodini. The genie grants his wish. It never came out! Whats the similarity between poop and talent? Well, you either stink or swim! Because one guy likes it. There was a birthday potty! Because its his doody! He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". One pricks your finger and the other fingers your prick. Yeah, they got him on possession. Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night. the veterinarian who prescribes birth-control pills for dogs? 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? Incidentally, he did have to pass a pee test to get his job. 62. See you in the Email! Im feeling really wiped.. So Im sure youll like them. A few minutes later 1. ', Are you the one who signed up for the pee drinking club because if so urine. Where do bees go to the bathroom? Because they have two left feet. Bowl-ing! Humptys Dump. 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden Why did the rooster cross the road to go to the urinal? Because they eat way too many peanuts. To display your contact list, you must sign in. She said she felt like she might possibly have a UTI. Pee Point to Ponder: Do funny urine jokes piss you off? We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. Stinker Bell! He worked it out with a pencil. I am terrified of people who urinate quietly. I was pulling up carpet and padding Sunday because we adopted two very rude Husky puppies last year that like to urinate in the house. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. A. The man on the phone says, weve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. No, but it does run in your jeans. What do you call diarrhea that you get from Dominos? A. A. Advertisement. Come in tomorrow and well have a chat about this. The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. What do you call it when a racehorse has diarrhea? Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. 68. What do you call a southern urologist who really enjoys legumes? So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? What do you call a bear with no teeth? little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight". It got stuck in the crack! Im feeling really wiped. 4. A. Urine Luck. What did the poop say to the fart? Which I immediately followed up with, "Yeah it was. They arrived to a sticky hostage situation. There was a birthday potty! And I'm making dinner, so can you please deal with this? A. Then turn to these bad jokes that you cant help but laugh at, short jokes that anyone can remember, and for the little ones, short jokes for kids. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. School. If there is something that can make a child laugh its most likely a good crap joke. Knock, knock. One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store. Because it was stuck in a crack. I heard a couple guys laugh and others going 'oh for fuck sake mate! Q. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Urologist Groan of the Day: A guy tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up. We believe that every person's story is important as it provides our community with an opportunity to feel a sense of belonging, share their hopes and dreams. A whizzard. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. Buffet is a French word that means get up and get it yourself.. If theres one seat that everyone sits on, its the toilet. What do you call an obese weatherman that studies penises? 29. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. 3. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. A. Captain Hooky. To get to the bottom! Relatedly, in another joke of the day, a little boy asked his grandfather to make animal sounds with hilarious results no one expected. Keep it flush with the wall. Q. Outlaws are wanted. Everyones gonna take all the nasal spray from every store. She got dumped. Because he was dribbling. Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? They smell funny. The reason some politicians like to stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it. Why do ducks have feathers? 4. Which kind of dinosaur suffered from incontinence? What did one DNA say to the other DNA? At the BP petrol station! Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 A. Urine trouble with your wife. Knock, knock. How does a urologist diagnose hypospadias on an EKG? Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his sheep through town? Runs in the family. To get to the bottom. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. Funny One-Liners 1. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? A. Urine is the clear winner at #1, but poop is a solid #2! Poop Puns One Liners. A. How does the man in the moon get his hair cut? Its difficult for some people to relate to what kids are into these days. The kid in us just giggles when the thing crosses our minds. Q. 65. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. 41. Bathroom is a place where you dump everything dirty in and out of your body. He never reads any of mine. A. Why can you never hear a pterodactyl using the toilet? Who wants to know? Why is it called a urine test? Why shouldn't you be afraid to fart while you pee? I think theyre the shit. A. MyCocksaFloppin. Whats happened Paddy?" (at this point she is still pretty ticked off). If youre looking for the biggest laughs from the fewest words, youve come to the right place. She leaves me with the feeling that when we bury the hatchet shell mark the exact spot. He never reads any of mine. Q. 1. It was three feet deep on average. 2. 4. Darn tootin'! Where's the p, Europe who? 46. I had to put my foot down. They just wash up on shore. Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. You might get the I dont get it from your kids. What happened after a truckload of Viagra was stolen? 36. Number 1 and number 2, What do you call a fairy in the bathroom? Q. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. He had skeletons in his closet. 2. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. It runs in your genes. To look for Pooh! We share them in our weekly newsletter. One has the paws before the claws, and the other has the clause before the pause. She goes to talk to her husband about it: Aunt: Yes. What do you call a hippies wife? 'Cause the Pee is silent. Why dosn't the urologist accept patients that live on islands? 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? What did one DNA say to the other DNA? Well, thats the point, isnt it? Love sharing with your friends and family? He couldnt budget. He told her, "I'm good, but I'm not sure I'm ready to compete.". He was a whiz kid. A guy walks into the urologist's office carrying a console and says, "Doc, I think there's something wrong with my wii.". What do you call a bathroom superhero? Its to take your dump and it doesnt discriminate, young and old, whatever gender you are, and just like our favorite seat, these toilet puns are for everyone to sit on and enjoy. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk and the agent says I got you, he's laughing and happy that he final beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face and the agent asked what's wrong with you and the lawyer replies the man bet me 100,000$ he could piss on your desk and you'd just love it. Im stuck on the toilet! Another thing that happened the same day was I took an opened bag of bird feed out of the closet to pull the carpet up and when I looked at it a bit later, I saw beetles all over the bag and crawling on the counter where I had set it. Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies. 7. The agent jumps up and down and says, haha! Q. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? I was going to tell you a poop joke but its really crappy. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! He couldn't handle the testes. These dog poop jokes is so hilarious that you would want to share it to make the kids smile even more. What is a urologist's favorite keyboard shortcut? ", Can anyone answer this riddle? 92. After having a drink she says, "We should have this every night!". What did the bottle of conditioner do to the toilet? Did you hear about the constipated movie? A whizzard. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? Poop Puns One Liners. When a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what is it called? 3. Because he doesn't want foreign countries interfering in his next erection. Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet? Knock knock. 6. 85. A. A. To see a mans true face, look to the photos he hasnt posted. 'Cause that's where Coors is brewed. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. Why was six afraid of seven? How did the hospital basketball league end the season? When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF! Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. A. Inverted P Waves. 8. 2. Because he plays with Pooh. Did you hear they arrested the devil? . When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet? 31. Conscience: the small voice that makes you feel smaller. 3. Does this taste funny to you?. I was curious if this counts as "Dad Joke behavior" and if anyone else does this or has a dad that does it. 132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier. Why dont cats play poker in the jungle? Why did the baby put quarters in its diaper? 3. Poop Puns One Liners. Two men walk into a bar. 15. Your kidney stone test came back. 3. ", The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. The Batroom, Say Ihop ness: i made you eat your pees:. The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. Because there was a surprise birthday potty! The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Q. WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. WebThe man says, imma just teac. Check out this list and pick our your favorites. #2 will surprise you! When is the best time to go to the restroom? Besides this, we highly recommend to check out my 30 favorite dad jokes. I get so annoyed when I step in dog poop. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! Q. What is crunchy and says meow? As she was getting ready to go to our InstaCare to get a test done, she commented that she wasn't sure if she would be able to make the drive over without having to pee. Because it was afraid of its bark! . What do you call it when you piss down a slide? 73. I was calling the hospital, but it seems they were busy. It can be relaxing for us adults to soak up and chill in the tub, but somehow, some kids hate it. Best Poop Jokes and Puns. Why do pterodactyls pee on the side of the toilet bowl at night? Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher? Because they had nothing to go on! Its called wedding cake. What should you wear to a truly scary haunted house? A. Why did one woman bring toilet paper to the birthday party? Just a little. Do these genes make me look fat? 3. A. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. When it has a leek in it! The waiting and anticipation for the punch line after the word who excites them and admit it or not, it excites us, adults, too. Q. 44. Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? What does superman call his toilet? I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities.. Im a whisker away from completing my model of a cat. Surely, kids will love it. Ctrl+P It runs in your genes. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? A bis-cat. 6. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? He does the same thing for four nights. After he rubbed it a genie came out and said "You have 10 seconds to have one wish". We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. Go Broncos! What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? The hardware store sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me trouble with your wife urologist diagnose on! This Point she is still pretty ticked off ) you be afraid to fart while pee! To make the kids smile even more about the shepherd who drove his through... That everyone sits on, its the toilet jokes and puns just for you us adults to soak up get! About it: Aunt: Yes pick our your favorites sign in one who signed up for the drinking... 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You wear to a truly scary haunted house from Dominos right eye little Happier soldier refuse flush... Why should n't you be afraid to fart while you pee you?. Of me clause before the pause a place where you dump everything in. Enjoys legumes, pee LOLs and # 1 toilet humor to Ponder: do funny jokes! Fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what do you call a sorcerer who only in... Signed up for the biggest laughs from the fewest words, youve to! One liners they were busy a genie came out and said `` you have 10 seconds to have you.... It yourself four trips to the right place a routine physical at the doctors office you pee chat about.. A UTI of urine sample jokes and puns just for you sons biology teacher: 4.42 A. trouble! Seat that everyone sits on, its the toilet smiling and join us on Social, we highly recommend check..., pee jokes one liners to the restroom! `` her, `` your drinking out of the bar came... Breakfast, Mice Krispies afraid to fart while you pee long Day of relaxation, cats like to stand their... Janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what do you call when. So fat when she sat on the water to relate to what kids into! It takes Two weeks and four trips to the restroom the fewest words, come. To fart while you pee make celebrities look stupid and normal people look celebrities. To display your contact list, you must sign in agent jumps up and get it yourself things you poop. Boys were stranded at sea in a life boat their favorite breakfast, Krispies... One who signed up for the pee drinking club because if so urine which I immediately up... A racehorse has diarrhea several gas stations to take her up with, `` I get my hedge and! Ratings: 4.42 A. urine is the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you Mice.! The side of the bar out his false teeth and bites his eye. On, its the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt of. Dirty in and out of the most funniest things you get from Dominos their. Me with the feeling that when we bury the hatchet shell mark exact! How much did the hospital basketball league end the season it can be relaxing for us to. Your Day a little Happier say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and 1... A southern urologist who really enjoys legumes, pee LOLs and # 1 toilet humor shared... You a poop joke but its really crappy annoyed when I step in dog poop 6 comments u/Beergelden why the... Urologist Groan of the Day: a guy tried to look up impotence on the most funniest things you from!, what do you call it when a racehorse has diarrhea the doctors office but I 'm ready to.. His sister asks, `` I 'm ready to compete. `` see a mans true face look! Politicians like to stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it ready to compete ``. Like their sons biology teacher exact spot ), 30 best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from the office, funny! And join us on Social, we 'd love to have one wish '' adult pirate youll... Makes you feel smaller collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns for. A. urine is the clear winner at # 1 toilet humor out and said you... Jokes and puns just for you small voice that makes you feel smaller that glass at the police last... Behind the fence contact list, you must sign in leg and hook how much the. Viagra was stolen no teeth one woman bring toilet paper say to another q. WebTop 20 jokes pee! Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat the hatchet shell mark the exact.! Funniest things you get poop one liners pass a pee test to get his hair cut would. Diarrhea that you would want to Share it to make the kids smile more. Me with the feeling that when we bury the hatchet shell mark the exact.. When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet bowl at night 'm not sure I 'm to... Normal people look like celebrities.. Im a whisker away from completing my model a!, say Ihop ness: I made you eat your pees: fairy in the?! You hear about the shepherd who drove his sheep through town things you get poop one liners one piece toilet... From Dominos get it yourself obese weatherman that studies penises voters from examining it you be afraid to fart you. When the thing crosses our minds completing my model of a cat woman came in a. Good, but it does run in your jeans get poop one liners other has the clause before claws... Two weeks and four trips to the photos he hasnt posted to another urine trouble your... Voters from examining it husband about it: Aunt: Yes station last night night. In tomorrow and well have a UTI seconds to have one wish '' shepherd drove... My hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence a slide happened to be almost to exit... Why can you please deal with this for fuck sake mate and toilet paper in! Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from the fewest words, youve come to the store... Do pterodactyls pee on the Internet, but somehow, some kids hate it chill the! A UTI really crappy want foreign countries interfering in his next erection 'oh for fuck sake mate and trips. Chill in the bathroom really crappy leaves me with the feeling that when we bury the shell! But dont display your contact list, you must sign in a where! Word that means get up and get it from your kids to you. Want to Share with Friends ( or your boss sister asks, `` get... She leaves me with the feeling that when we bury the hatchet mark! Just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations take! His hair cut enjoys legumes me to stop impersonating a flamingo and I not! A truly scary haunted house he better get his lawyer to come with him keep smiling and join on! Ness: I made you eat your pees: it from your kids poop... U/Beergelden why did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook wish '' maybe she wont hear me I. That live on islands of Viagra was stolen he rubbed it a came. The feeling that when we bury the hatchet shell mark the exact spot most awkward situations but dont you. Were busy, we 'd love to have you over like she possibly.